Joy and Circumstances

Sharp contrasts often bring out the greatest truth.  Recently, a dichotomy has struck me as reflecting one clear truth.  Trinity is located in the 31st richest county in America, thus Porches, BMWs and Mercedes are more commonplace in the neighborhood than any other brand.  Because of this, I could either live on campus or many miles away.  Through my interactions with people living in the area, life is hurried and attitudes sharp.  Baristas can't get coffee orders correctly, waiters are 'incompetent' and traffic lights beg for horns to sound.  I see little happiness, but much wealth.  It seems that money doesn't bring joy.  Yes, yes, we've all heard this our whole lives, but deep down don't we doubt this?  We're often like the discussion between Perchik and Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof.  Perchik says, "Money is the world's curse."  To that, Tevye replies, "May the Lord smite me with it, and may I never recover!"  
     On the other hand, I attend a Hispanic church that doesn't own its own building.  Last year's operating budget was around 10,000 dollars, compared to many other churches in the area that have millions upon millions.  When you walk into the service, all you hear about is God's faithfulness and his provision for His people.  God's love for his children is written on their faces.  It seems my Hispanic brothers and sisters have found a secret that the area hasn't found:  True joy comes from knowing God, and walking with Him.  This is just as true when we have much, and when we have little.  The famous Bible verse Philippians 4:13, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength," is often quoted as a means to a football victory or in bearing job stress, but the author had a different purpose.  The context of this verse is contentment in every circumstance.  Before 4:13, Paul says, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."  What is this secret?  Knowing Jesus Christ and the power of his resurrection.  I don't pretend to have modeled this, as most of my life I have known only plenty.   Yet, the truth remains.  Whether God's plan involves plenty or little, being connected to Him is what brings the joy.  I hold onto this truth with white knuckles. 

What I've Learned from my Hispanic Church

One of the common refrains of my life has been leveraging my life for the kingdom of God.  That's why I live and that's why I am studying here at Trinity.  Another, seemingly random aspect, has been my affinity for and ability to speak the Spanish language.  I've visited Spanish speaking countries many times, majored in Spanish in undergrad and even spent extended time living in Mexico with a Mexican family, while studying at a language immersion school.  I've used Spanish to separate myself on scholarship applications and random opportunities, but have never seen it as the gift that it is...that is until recently.  I was having lunch with the national director of church planting for the Evangelical Free Church of America, and the topic of my fluency in Spanish came up.  His words were like a smack in the face.  He said, "You have no idea the gift you have for the kingdom."  I was taken aback.  I hadn't been seeing Spanish as a gift to leverage from the kingdom, like I have seen the rest of my life.
     Fast forward about a month, and I continued to put feel the Holy Spirit stirring in my heart to cultivate my Spanish ability.  With language, you either use it or lose it--and it had been over a year since I lived in Mexico.  Finally, after hearing the cafeteria workers speaking Spanish, I decided to contact a local pastor of a Hispanic church to visit.  Picking the closest EFCA Hispanic church to Trinity, I just showed up one Sunday.  As I walked in I thought, "I am crazy!  Who just walks randomly into a Spanish speaking church?"  Of course, I stuck out like a sore thumb, but it didn't take long to feel welcomed into the family.  Before the service, I talked with the pastor (who speaks mostly Spanish) and we talked about pastoral ministry.  He had great wisdom saying, "You must go to the people."  This was his way of saying, if you truly want to reach out to the marginalized, you need to go to where they are!  Spanish is a reality for our country, and in order to reach out to the most oppressed and needy, it often is needed. 
     After the service, I decided I didn't want to awkwardly stand in the lobby, so I just made my way to my car.  No sooner had I walked to my car, but one of the young women from the church ran up to car and said, "Um, we have coffee and donuts inside...won't you join us?  Don't leave!"  I was blown away by the hospitality.  So I parked my car, and went inside and met many new friends.  What a marked difference from most of our "Anglo" church culture and the personal space we expect and demand.
        To feel out of place and lost in a church service, complete with uncertainty of when to sit and stand during the service, I was reminded of how new people feel in our churches.  Next time I go to my English speaking church, I will be reminded of the hospitality of my Hispanic church and how I felt when I was welcomed.  I so often forget what it feels like to be new.  Let's remember the outcast and the newcomer this week...who knows how God will use our conversations! 

Love

     When I was younger in my faith, I used to dream of being a leader of something big--big in numbers, big in size, big in the world's eyes.  As I grew in age, I was a part of a few large churches...a few that sometimes felt like they wanted to be large for the sake of being large, for the pastor's own kingdom (as I mentioned in an earlier post, "Thorns and Thrones."  In college, I was blessed to be a part of a campus movement that was large in numbers--but for the right reasons.  As I look back on my college experience, my favorite memories are from seeing the two men that I discipled weekly, grow in Christ.  Seeing them increase in faith, sacrifice and vision was worth every ounce of sweat and prayer that I poured into their lives.  As I grew in my faith, the Lord changed my heart to see that growth is healthy if it's Gospel growth...If it's growth based on true believers being faithful to multiply their lives into others.  Then, God is glorified and movements are healthy.  In the same way, Jesus slowly made me realize that being faithful in the small things is exactly what pleases Him. 
      To be honest, the place I've seen this modeled the best is through my mother.  For the 22 years that I've been alive, I've never seen someone with the burning passion for others, shown most clearly through selfless love.  Whether it's the neighbor ladies, the subway worker, the technical college student from a broken home, or the transsexual in the airport, the love of Jesus pours out of her into everyone she meets.  As a family, we enjoy asking each other how we can be praying for one another.  Consistent through the years, my mom constantly asks that God would allow her to love more people, to have more opportunity to connect people with Jesus.  We all need to learn what I learned from my Mom and what Jesus taught in his parable of the talents.  In many ways, it's a tough parable.  I suggest you read it in Matthew 25, if you haven't read it in a while.  In it, the master says to the faithful servant," 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'"  Not all of us will invest our lives in things that will last for eternity, and still others may invest their lives into eternal things that people will never see.  In the same way, others may even oppose the ways that we desire to influence others to labor faithfully in the small things--especially in a business driven church model that we often have today!  But to be faithful in small things, like the struggling single mom or the broken hearted friend, is to be a faithful servant of God, and to love Jesus Himself.  Christians often talk about wanting to hear God say, "Well done, good and faithful servant," but I wonder if we are willing to live the lives that are worthy of such a statement.  It begins today in the small things, in the seemingly fruitless compassion or sacrificial love that no one sees, and will continue until Jesus comes for His own.  To these few, "the King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me'"

Great Start to the Day!

Started out the day with a 15 minute conversation with D.A. Carson.  This is going to be a great day!  (Minus a Hebrew quiz on 31 chapters of vocab!  Boquer Tov!)

The Artist Chisels at the Stone

Thinking about these words from the band "downhere" today... 
The artist chisels at the stone...

Lord, help me be the one You're making me
Lord ,help me see the one You're making me...
I was a cancer, but you have made me a son

 God is doing something big in my heart these days.  Please pray that He would clarify my calling, stir His spirit within me, throw open doors of opportunity, and surround me with people who would spur me on toward fulfilling His desires for my life.  If you're reading this, know that I love you...and He loves you.

"Not So With You"

       Each day I try to begin my day with reading a few chapters of Scripture and praying for how God would have me respond.  In this, I have been using a reading plan/devotional book called For The Love of God by D.A. Carson, one of my professors here at Trinity.  The book has a reading plan to read through the whole Old Testament once, and the New Testament and Psalms twice in a year.  With each day, Dr. Carson gives a reflection or devotion on the reading.  This morning's NT portion was Matthew 20.  As I have been reflecting at great length on the health of the Church in America, Jesus' words particularly stood out to me.  Jesus says, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."  Dr. Carson points out that Jesus understands the nature of government power, that "absolute power corrupts absolutely" as Lord Acton said,  but also that unfortunately, this is often true of our church leaders.  Jesus says things are to be different among us.  Whoever wants to become great among us, must become a servant.  Why?  Because Jesus came to be the same.  Right away, I thought about what this means for leading well and leading with our gifts.  As if reading my thoughts (I know he can't do this...I know it seems I may think he can), Dr. Carson writes, "Becoming a slave of all most emphatically does not mean that leaders must become servile, stupid, ignorant, or merely nice--any more than Jesus' leadership and sacrifice were characterized by such incompetence."  So, we can lead with skill and gifts but the difference is that Christian leadership is to be "a self-denying sacrifice for the sake of others."  My favorite part of the devotion this morning was the conclusion.  Finishing his thoughts, Dr. Carson says, "So the church must not elevate people to places of leadership who have many of the gifts necessary to high office, but who lack this one...you must also be profoundly committed to principled self-denial for the sake of brothers and sisters in Christ, or you are disqualified."  I have been around a few of these profound, servant leaders in my life, a list that most certainly includes both of my parents.  They make you want to serve, they make you feel a sense of ownership for the mission of the Church, and they make you want to follow their example.  I pray for us, and ask you to pray for me, as I continue to follow God's call into ministry, that we will set an example of self-denial for the sake of others...so that we will not be disqualified.  For us that we would not seek the approval of people, or crowns on earth, but to seek to serve as Jesus did. 

Thorns and Thrones

One of the major themes that God has been laying on my heart is actually a question.  A question that has been echoing in my head for months...a question that I must answer every minute of every day.  As I begin this journey into pastoral ministry at Trinity, and I see the winding path of pride and self that litters my way--marked by the lives of leaders, both failures and successes.  In the midst of this journey, God asks me, "David...My kingdom or yours?"  I've been involved in a few churches in my life.  In some, the line between building the pastor's kingdom and God's is far too blurry.  With building campaigns and website front pages, it often seems as though the fame is indeed aimed at and received by a person...one that is not Christ.  Yet, when my heart hurts for ministries led in pride, I hear the ever present wisdom of my mother, echoing the words of Jesus: "First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."  So I journey...knowing that with ministry comes a constant begging for an answer to God's question, "Your kingdom or mine?"  I ask God for humility and for clear eyes to see my calling as one of servanthood and self-sacrifice for God's glory, and not mine.
This is summed up well in a poem from B. J. Hoff titled "Thorns and Thrones."  It echoes the struggle in my heart for an easy path, and not the one of sacrifice.

I’d rather gather roses without thorns, Lord,

A bright and fragrant, beautiful bouquet

To decorate my world with pretty pleasures-

The brambles and the briers, I’ll throw away.

But You say I must pluck the thorns as well, Lord,

Although they’ll pierce my heart and sting my soul;

You say that pain’s a part of peace, You tell me

That breaking is a part of being whole.

You say that if I truly want to know You,

I must count everything but Christ a loss;

You ask me to exchange my way for yours, Lord

To trade contentment’s kingdom for a cross.

And so I come before you, weak but willing;

I seek to walk your path and not my own;

I choose to share the crown of thorns You wore, Lord

Until I kneel before your royal throne. 

This journey will involve thorns and thrones...with the constant longing for an answer to God's question:  "Will you build my kingdom or your own?" 

Hiatus Ended, Passion Refilled

Some of you may have noticed (and by some, I may only mean my Mom) that I took a hiatus from blogging.  Well, I hope to get back into it with a new batch of thoughts and ruminations from seminary life.  My first semester of graduate school was multifaceted--fulfilling yet lacking, life-giving and yet draining.  Having begun my grad school experience with a 6 week intensive Greek course, a one day break, and then the most intense semester of my life, by finals week I was ready to give my mind a break.  The week preceding finals and finals week itself were the most intense academic two weeks of my life--waking up around 5 am and closing shop around 11 pm.  In the intensity, the Lord taught me immensely and increased my love for His word greatly.  After a refreshing break of absolutely no studying, and even a little pleasure reading, I feel refilled and ready to enjoy all the Lord desires to teach me here at Trinity.  With that, I have finally landed at a church home, and have begun leading a small group of high school men at church.  Learning about God's word, when not grounded in real life experience, is void of any worth--thus I am excited to pour into the lives of young men, and to challenge them to a life of mission and purpose for the fame of Jesus.